An Impossible Choice
by siren of titan
Summary: Set during DH- When Ron leaves them. Story is an AU version of what could have happened to make Ron stay. Please read and review!thanks


A/N: quick…well not so quick, but quick for me One Shot about the night Ron left and what would have happened to make him stay. Please read and review. I was thinking of adding a couple different versions of this (not as long) like a funny alt ending or a tragic one…etc) But please let me know what you think and enjoy!

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Ron chucked the locket onto a nearby chair and turned to Hermione, still holding his seething expression from his row with Harry. He took a shallow breath before clenching his jaw as though he were trying to gain more control over his expression, to make it less spiteful, but his look was still brooding when he spoke.

"What are you doing?"

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked both confused and anxious by the question and the cold look on his face.

"Are you staying or what?" he asked the words, knowing the answer. Deep down knowing how unfair the question really was.

"I…Yes-yes, I'm staying. Ron, we said we'd go with Harry, We said we'd help—" she replied feeling sick, not truly believing Ron was actually going to walk out on them, on her, in the middle of the night. She hadn't just said "I" would help and go with him, she said "we" and meant it, hoping it would remind him of what was at stake and what was really important. But Ron could only see his own hurt and anger in her answer. He thought he understood.

"I get it. You choose him," he told her and moved to leave. Hermione was momentarily impeded by the shielding charm she cast and panicked when she could not run to him immediately and get him to stop—to see reason. She wanted nothing more than to crush herself around him, so he could see the truth.

"Ron, no—please—I choose you!" she blurted out without thinking, before his foot could make it out the tent entranceway. Ron ceased his movement instantly and stood in a stiff pose, his back to them still.

"What?" he asked. Even though she couldn't see his face she knew his jaw was still set firmly and could picture the contemptuous look in his eyes that she knew he still held. But she had gotten him to at least stop for the moment and the need to keep him there with her only grew. She sucked in a deep breath and tried to have control over her voice as she spoke again.

"I said I choose you, Ron."

He turned to her, his face not hiding the doubt and suspicion that her words made him feel.

"You just said you were staying with _him_, so how is it you choose me, exactly?"

Hermione was fighting back tears and determined to keep them out of her voice as well. His response had been so harsh that it startled her. _Could he really leave the, now? Did her words mean anything? Couldn't he see what she was trying to tell him? _she wondered.

"I know I should stay with Harry, that we both should, and if I leave with you I will never forgive myself for abandoning my friend, who needs me and who I promised to help, but I don't see any other alternative if you go now."

"You're just trying to make me feel guilty. You're just saying this to make me stay," he replied distrustfully, his voice grower louder. Hermione took a couple steps closer to him, reading the skepticism his eyes.

"Leaving Harry to do this on his own is the worst thing I could imagine doing. It goes against everything I believe in or think I stand for. Harry is one of the most important people in my life. I don't think I could ever look him in the eyes again if I ran away now," she began hesitantly, noticing how her words only soured Ron more. "But if you made me choose, if I have to choose right now, staying with him or leaving with you—it's you, Ron, because it isn't really a choice at all. I can't do this without you. I know my limits and I know what I need to survive this whole mess and if you're not with me…I couldn't bear it," Hermione confessed in a small voice, taking the last few smalls steps to him and clasping his hand in hers as she were trying to make sure he couldn't disappear. She took her eyes off their hands to look up at him. He was staring at her with a disbelieving look, appearing almost terrified—in shock. When her eyes met his though, his featured changed and became calmer but also impossible to read. He didn't say anything for a moment, not allowing his emotions to play out on his face. Ron's eyes flickered to Harry's for a second— who's features he noticed had become a bit softer and less irritable during Hermione's honest speech— and then met Hermione's troubled eyes, brimming with Tears.

"You would walk away, just like that?" he asked her and immediately regretted his acerbic tone. Hermione dropped her hand from his

"No, not just like that," she snapped. Her response was colder that her previous statements and Ron didn't feel like it wasn't warranted. She walked around him so that she stood between him and the tent entrance. Harry stood, more or less in the shadows, feeling awkward for how personal this conversation was becoming.

"I would be appalled by our actions. I would be exceedingly angry with you; disappointment but—"

"But what?" he asked in a new tone, a gentle tone as he gazed into her watery brown eyes.

"But I can't deny the truth and the truth is when you began to walk away, when you threatened to take yourself away from me, I didn't have time to rationalize, or think it through, just to react. I didn't even see an alternative. If you were leaving then I was coming with you," she spoke quickly and hotly. Ron's heart swelled at her confession and it was like the locket could never taint his thoughts again. He took a step closer to her and brushed the tears away with his thumb, examining her face with his agonizing stare.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll stay. If that's what you both want that is…?" he said, looking back at his bestmate, who raised his head as though he hadn't been following the entire conversation. "I'm sorry for being such a worthless git. I let the locket get to me. I let it all get to me and I shouldn't have. Hermione was right and I do want to help, of course I do, you're my best friend. If I had walked out tonight, I would have never lived that down," he explained ashamed. Harry gave him a simple nod, letting him know he understood.

"I know you didn't really mean it. Me neither…I shouldn't have even suggested you going. I do need you here, Ron—both of you. I, er—" he hesitated looking back and forth between his two friends and wishing there was somewhere else he could go temporarily. "I think I'm gonna go take watch outside. The rain is letting up and you two should probably…talk." Harry walked past them, not saying anything more, but patted Ron's shoulder as though to say 'no hard feelings' or 'good luck'.

Hermione briskly walked past Ron and back to her bed. Ron didn't need to see her face to know she was upset with him and he only wondered what he did now.

"Hermione, can we talk. I mean you aren't going to sleep now, are you?" She was climbing into her bed and pulling the covers up as he spoke. She lay down and turned away from him as he approached her bed. She could feel the weight of his body as he sat down next to her, followed by a slight warm pressure as he hand came to rest on her back.

"I'm not leaving, Hermione. I'm staying right here." He hoped his words would comfort her and even help her start speaking to him.

"Oh how thoughtful of you," he thought he heard her sarcastically mumble into her pillow, followed seconds later by, "But you were going to…"

He took his hand and swept it through her hair, moving it away, so he could place his hand on her back without any obstruction and began rubbing circles there.

"What was that?" he asked, hoping she would take the hint and turn over so he could see her face. She turned quite suddenly and sat up.

"I said you were going to. You were going to leave tonight. You were on your way out. Just like that, like you didn't care."

"I wasn't thinking straight. Not that it's any excuse but I just went mad for a moment. I don't really want to leave. I really do want to help Harry. I let my frustration with our situation get the best of me, I let myself see things to make leaving seem like it was justified, but leaving would have been inexcusable, you're absolutely right."

"Inexcusable because you made a promise to Harry," she clarified in a tone that made Ron nervous, but he didn't know what else to do but agree.

"Right," he said.

Hermione put her head back down and closed her eyes. Ron looked down at her and tried to figure out what she was thinking behind her tightly closed eyes.

"Hermione," he whispered, bending his face down to her ear.

"Can't you see I'm trying to sleep, Ron?"

"But you're still angry with me."

Hermione sighed but refused to open her eyes.

"I'm angry with myself…"

"Yourself? Why?"

"You couldn't understand," was her short reply. She pulled the covers up as though to end the conversation. Ron quickly pulled them back down.

"Because I have the emotional range of a teaspoon?" he asked, dryly, but she refused to answer.

"C'mon Hermione, talk to me, please. Are you made because you feel guilty, too? You wouldn't have really left with me. You were just trying to get through my thick brain and make me see reason. Besides, it's all a moot point, seeing as no one left anyone."

"But _you_ would have!" she snapped.

"Maybe you're right…I'm sorry I even thought it, but even if I did. I mean, really, it isn't like I'm doing Harry much good, anyways. At this point I'm probably just slowing him down with my incessant complaining."

"I'm not talking about Harry!" she exclaimed now, as she stared up at the ceiling, darkly. Ron just peered down at her, perplexed, fumbling around with words, trying to form an adequate question. He was still trying to think of the right thing to say when he heard her start up again.

"You almost left tonight," she stated calmly and then looked at him, adding more pointedly, "You almost left me tonight. I never thought you would ever, in a million years, do that. You promised you would never leave me. You promised _me_ you would always be there. I believed you. And so quickly— so easily you could go. Nothing could every hurt me more than knowing you were capable of that." Ron stared at her as though he had just had his heart wrenched from his chest. His mouth hung opened in an agonized gap. Hermione looked away from him and refocused once more on the ceiling, hastily wiping away fresh tears.

"Don't cry, Hermione. Please, don't cry…I didn't think you actually needed _me_. If you were with Harry, if you had him with you I thought you'd feel safe. Plus, you're so clever and brave and independent, I sometimes think you don't need anyone at all, much less someone like me. It was impossible…to think…"

"What?!" she asked incredulously, holding back a sob.

"I didn't think you wanted me around anymore. When you said you were staying, well it sort of solidified that idea for me. I thought you felt the same way as Harry when he told me to go …It just made sense. I'm the weak link. I'm not doing anybody any good. Of course you didn't want me around…I thought I was doing you a favor by running away, instead of waiting around for you to ask me to leave."

"How could you honestly believe that?" she asked sitting up, tucking her legs under her and facing him.

"Because I'm an idiot. I can't believe I would let myself get so twisted up. Even if you were to beg me to leave you, I wouldn't—couldn't…I'd just follow behind in the distance, to be sure nothing happened to you. It was a moment of stupidity, to think I could walk away from you. I wouldn't have been able to stay away for one minute." Hermione's eyes went wide as he spoke, turning soft again. Ron clumsily placed his hand over hers and was relieved when he didn't smack it away.

"Hermione—? Were you, um, really going to leave with me tonight?" he asked impatiently but awkwardly, needing to clarify the moment before the feeling started to fade and he couldn't be sure of anything. He was unable to keep the nerves out of his voice as it cracked. "I mean, you said that just to make me stop, right? You wouldn't have left. You were just being a good friend to me, to stop me from becoming the biggest git alive…?" Hermione opened her mouth to speak, taking a deep breath…

"Oi! You two! Quick!" Harry yelled from outside the tent.

"Was that…?"

"Harry?Yes," Hermione finished, slipping off the bed and pulling Ron along. She threw on a pair of boots and a coat and Ron followed suit.

"Do you see him?" she asked as they scanned the dark woods.

"…No, but he couldn't have gone far. What do you think that was about?"

"Maybe something got him," Hermione stated, sounding afraid.

"Nah, he didn't sound worried. He sounded excited—Hey did you see that? That Patronus?" He grabbed Hermione by the hand and took off running in the direction of the smoke like doe. Hermione struggled to keep up with Ron's long legs but her fear that something bad was going on, kept her feel moving.

"There's Harry," Ron yelled over the wind and their heavy breathing. They both focused on him as they watched the distant image of Harry as he suddenly disappeared.

"He went into the water…is he bloody mad?" Ron asked, still tugging Hermione along.

"He isn't coming up!"

Ron dropped Hermione's hand. "Stay back," he warned her before sprinting full speed to where Harry went under. Hermione watched as Ron dove into the water, her heart stuttering. After what felt like hours, but was really less than a minute, Ron reemerged, bounding out of the water, dragging Harry a safe distance from the edge. They were both coughing profusely, which Hermione found comforting as she ran over to meet them. She noticed something in Ron's hand as he began to yell.

"Are –you— mental? Why the hell didn't you take this thing off before diving in?" he asked, raising the locket up and shaking it in front of him. Harry rubbed his throat, still trying to catch his breath. When he spoke he only asked, "It was you?"

"Well, yeah"

"You cast the doe?"

"What? No, of course not! I thought it was you doing it!"

"My Patronus is a stag."

"Oh yeah. I thought it looked different. No antlers."

"Thanks…for pulling me out. If you hadn't come along and cut it off…I'd be a goner."

"It was a stupid thing to do, jumping in that cold water like that," Hermione scolded, stepping forward, "all for what?"

"For this," Ron stated, holding up the sword. They all stared at it in awe.

"Someone put that there for us to find," Harry explained.

"So someone is trying to help us? Think it's the goblin?" Ron asked, excited.

"Or trying to kill us," Hermione reminded them. "Maybe it was a trap to get to Harry. It might not even be real.

"Only one way to find out. I think we have to stab it. I'll open it…" Harry said taking the locket. "…and Ron I think you ought to do the honors."

But Ron lost it upon hearing this request, explaining how he couldn't be the one to stab it. That the locket was the worst for him and that he wouldn't be able to do it. But Harry wouldn't listen to him. Sure that it had to be Ron. Ron had gotten the sword. Ron had saved him and he was sure it was Ron who needed to end it. Ron looked from Hermione to Harry, nervously, finally nodding his head in agreement.

"I know you can do it, Ron," Hermione told him encouragingly, kissing him softly on the cheek. The action seemed to give him strength.

"Tell me when," Ron said, raising the sword.

When Harry opened the locket using parseltongue, a strange thing happened. A voice began to speak to Ron, filling his mind with awful fears and terrible thoughts. Then suddenly images of Hermione and Harry rose from the locket, both beautiful and wicked. Harry wondered if his and Hermione's shouts could reach him over the image and sound of the dark, ominous pair coming from the locket. Ron appeared paralyzed by what he saw and heard, especially when the couple kissed on front of him, taunting him.

"Do it, Ron!" Harry yelled on final time. They all heard the clang of the metal and the dying screams of the locket as the sword cut into each half. When Ron was finished he let go of the sword, dropping to his knees. He was shaking. He was breathing hard and his cool blue eyes looked like pools of water. He put his head in his hands and closed his eyes tightly, as though the menacing Hermione and Harry were still invading his mind and he couldn't block them out. Harry stood a few feet away from his, unsure what to do or say. Hermione didn't wait for an invitation. Instead she ran to him and threw her arms around him, holding him tightly to her. Harry began to walk away as though doing surveillance around where they found the sword, looking for the person belonging to the silver doe, and also giving those two some privacy. He thought Ron had certainly earned it after he saved his life and destroyed a Horcrux.

"I wish you hadn't seen that," He whispered into her shoulder, embarrassed. "I'm sorry. You must think I'm…"

"An idiot?" she asked and laughed once. "How could you ever think I wanted to be with Harry? Harry is like a brother to me. It's always been that way."

"I still wish you hadn't seen that," he confessed.

"Why not?"

"Because now you know…" his voice trailed off.

"And that's bad?" She asked, her words almost a statement, trying to figure out his logic.

"It ruins everything, doesn't it? It was one thing pretending I wasn't in love with my best friend, but now to have that friend know and feel some unnecessary pity for me, just so my feelings can be spared. It's revolting." Hermione stared at him silently, taking in his words as well as his dripping wet face.

"…I would have left," she told him softly. He groaned and rubbed his eyes with his hands.

"I knew it. I'll leave first think tomorrow." His miserable reaction only made her smile. He looked at her curiously and she bit her lip, still smiling.

"…with you. I meant what I said. If you were leaving, for whatever pigheaded reason, I was coming too. There was never a choice for me," she told him honestly and he knew that she was not just talking about tonight. Ron looked at her with such intensity; a million things bubbling to his lips, but a secret impatient urge beating the words there and knocking them all back. His hand slid to her face and held it securely, as he leaned closer.

"I'm going to kiss you," he whispered, clarifying his actions, as though warning her; he still seemed unsure this was acceptable and really something she wanted. He was having a hard time wrapping his mind around the fact that she wanted him as much as he wanted her. Hermione didn't say anything but knotted her hands in his hair, as though preparing herself. The second his lips pressed against hers he lost all sense of insecurity or worry; those feelings being overcome by desire and need. Her mouth easily parted for him, granting him access, which he greedily took it. The kiss was intense and overpowering; it left them breathless and panting when it was through. "Hermione," he whispered, kissing her softly once more. He tried to keep in control. He tried to make the kiss gentle, but as Hermione reciprocated his actions they both moved hungrily over each other's mouths; crushing their bodies against each other as well as their lips. When Hermione solicited with a moan, it nearly drove Ron insane. When they finally broke apart again, Hermione buried her head under his chin, trying to regain her breath.

"I love you, too." She whispered, feeling his heart beating wildly. He placed tiny kisses on her head, squeezing her to him. She shivered involuntarily and he realized his wet clothes were soaking her.

"We should get back before we both get sick," he explained. Hermione nodded her head, happy that the night which started so painfully, was now ending in such an amazing way.


End file.
